Bukan perempuan sempurna...

Menulis...dan terus menulis... aku punya kata-kata yang hampir menggengdangkan pendengar jiwa hati. Mengapa menulis?Lalu aku letakkan pen,memandang dan befikir...menulis?Sejujurnya merindui karangan habiburahman el-shirazy,sayang... filemnya tidak mampu mengangkat kehebatan adab-adab Islam. Gagal sama sekali. Siapa aku untuk menilai? Kadg2 aku fikir,kita manusia suka menilai,sedangkan diri? Masih tidak tahu tahap iman dan ketinggian budi.

Memetik kata-kata Hamka,' Kecantikan abadi terletak pada ketinggian ilmu dan keelokan akhlak bukan paras rupa dan pakaiannya'.

Itulah...bukan perempuan sempurna. Tujuan aku menulis,kerana ilmu yang sgt kurang bahkan tak sampai setitis dari lautan ilmu Tuhan amat sayang untuk aku simpan dan tidak diingatkan pada diri. Bukn mengutuk diri tetapi akhirnya mengenali kekuatan dan diri sendiri.Jujurnya itulah manusia,lebih-lebih lagi perempuan.Aku tidak sehebat penulis yang mendapat ilham ketika mentaddabur ayat-ayat suci surah yusuf dan as-zukhruf,aku tidak scantik Aisyah dan Khadijah dari mana-mana segi. Terlalu kurang,terlalu kecil...

Izinkan aku meminta secebis idea dari pelayar alam maya,aku mencari-cari jawapan. Lalu kutemui dalam tulisan-tulisan yang paling dilaungkan umat Muhammad. Teruskan perjuangan penulis-penulis agung berpandukan kitab suci,aku seorang pembaca yang amat dahagakan segala di sebalik tulisan-tulisan...

June...

sejujurnya,memiliki blog bukanlah satu perkara yang dirancang... Tak punya masa dengan jadual yang padat dan menggila di sekitar bulan June. Bulan Mei penuh (kalau boleh dianggap penuh) dengan aktiviti yang agak inactive. menonton tv.membaca karya-karya penulis kegemaran dan merehatkan tubuh yang sememangnya penat dihambat ujian saat-saat exam menjelma. Ujian kali ini menduga,mencabar emosi dan hampir membuat diri kecundang menghadapinya. Teringat kata-kata pujangga dan nasihat seorang penulis Inggeris, "Don't let your emotion run your life". Tersedar dan bangkit memohon pada Allah agar tidak menjadikan emosi sebagai panduan. Bangun menyemai cinta semula pada ilmu,meng'revise' kenapa dan tujuan sebenar di menara gading. Cinta... Cinta sebenar yang telah merajai ruang hati membuatkan diri kembali ke jalan Ilahi. Baik2,aku perlu belajar lagi,meneguhkan cinta dan bekarya dengan tujuan mencari keredhaanNya. Semoga aku tidak tersesat lagi...amin.

I pray and wish to...

I've been busy to keep things on track. My exams and my life. Things go wrong one day,and I just bleak from my usual self. I'm a survivor. A strong girl inside with hope to have preseverance outside.A girl,a hope and dream. I wish I could turn back time,to correct things and appreciate me. I've dream to drive my car with a satisfaction that I live my life. That I have appreciate other people too. Sometimes truth is harder than you thik. So here goes,I'm facing the truth right now. Praying that things will get better and doing everything right. Wishing that success is just around the corner...

the truth about charlie...

Being a girl,having it's own opinion,thoughts and principe makes you a bit hard to be accept in the society. Even your own family. But my mother she never let me be the naive type of girl. She let me speak,think and create. She,herself is being taught in a conservative way. Thus she never want the same thing for me. I love her. She always take lessson out of life, never easy to surrender and a tough survivor. For me,man is unreliable.Love is what makes you accept the fact of being human being,we are never perfect. I don't blame men. They are what they are. And woman complete the cycle. I do love my father and brother. But it never teach me to appreciate them. I guess you feel useless to love a person cause they never accept you the way you are. But they want us to accept them. This,the fact about love makes me tired to be the one who always sacrifise my own feeling. I feel pain. and yes,love always soothe it out.
sarah.

Can't help myself when...

I've been writing blog since I've been signing in. But just in my head. I guess that my hands need to move lso. Hehe. Well,let see, my time begin to shorten and every seconds count. Exam is just around the corner,OMG!!! Ok... what to do? what to do? That's why... every seconds count...

let the water flow and the wind blow...

There's nothing I like more than wake up with a cup of tea to warm my hand in the cold morning.I love the idea of having time to spare with nothing to worry about.But relity is I have to make sure my education is secured,money comes every month for the food on the tables and a place where I call home. Ironic? No,it's basicly real life. Having this photographic dream makes me a realistic person. I grew up normally just like everybody else.

Then teenage time hit where you have to battle the personality and pressure of peers. To be in or out.Growing up means a lot for a simple teenage like me. Learn,get a degree,don't do drugs and work to gain your own wealth and comfort for living. Then SLE came. I gone through a very hard life for 5 years. Now I on the sixth year as SLE patient. I was determine to live. For what reasons? For dreams. For the idea of living good and appreciate this wonderful life. For the reality of I have no reason to loose hope. For that,I survive and began helping others who had the same disease. Lupus disease can be control. It helps me to be a better me.With more meaningful life and more than a degree. I learn to love,live and satisfied with all the things that I had taken for granted.

For my mum,I love her more than anything in this world. I have grown up from all the experience. With her,I also learn that time is very forgiving...