Saturday, May 29, 2010

The choices we make.

TOO MANY,TOO SCARY

There is something about wanting a mug of comfort drinks that usually lead me to the same spot in front of the kitchen cabinet. I want to relax myself with a nice drink. And usually when it comes to my favorite comfort drinks it would most possibly be a mug of hot tea with ginger.Kinda herbs drinks but it usually calms me down.
But tonight, unlike usual I pick the packet of hot chocolate instant drinks, cut the packet with a scissor and make a cuppa for myself.Funny eh?

Like our life, we have choices. And the decision to make with all the choices scares us sometimes. It's funny being a women myself I found out that in our modern life, women are actually less happy because of too many choices.
It is an interesting facts because,we women nowadays fight for equality in education,career,soul mates I meant almost everything in this whole world in order to seek more content.But instead we find more content in less choices??

Well,it's not so much about there are lots of choices or not.It's about making the right one.

THE RIGHT ONE?
I learned to make a huge life change decision when I was 15 years old. Which is the most challenges time in my life. It's hard being teenager,you are dealing with a non-cure disease then forced to accept it,deal with it and let alone live with it.

But I choose to live,not letting disease control my life. I was determined and scared too.

The consequences??-Unimaginable pain every part of the body. Affected my soul,feeling and everywhere inside of me. It is a torment. And life alone is not easy. Facing everyday challenges seems harder than usual. I was living in fear. Just like the speech from the author of a book 'The sun is my enemy' Henrietta Aladjem.

Life has been a bit tougher than usual. Prednisolone is giving me insecure effect of body weight. I am not happy at all with this. But I know it's my choice to live with it.Then there's the unhappy flare,rheumatic fever effect and most recent ones I was chronically fatigue,unable to move at all and experiencing a heavy malaise(unsure feeling).

It's a wonder how a single choice could effect our entire life isn't it?

KNOW THYSELF
But there are happy times too. When my family give full support in each step I took or about to take. The time where I am able to hold my study books, experience study life as a student and able to hold discussion with people that I admire or wise about life.Because I am happy when I am with books and enlighten discussion.I know, that in order to make a good choice,you must understand who you really are.
Because with choice comes consequences. With consequences comes a respond from the one who make the choices.Respond can be feeling,physical action,cry,smile and every reaction you name it. The more you know yourself the more you make decision that make you happy and give more chance to make other people happy.

Worrying what the future brings is useless, actually. I meant I don't know that after the whole semester 6 'non-flare' period I will be spending the next whole months experiencing flare and rheumatic fever.

Events will come and go. It is us,the people who make choices stay. The important question is how we react towards the consequences?

After all,there are no such thing as perfect life.

WHAT MAKES 'ME' HAPPY MATTERS TOO
Eternal happiness is of course are obtained only in heaven. Thus we question do we have to be miserable all the time in order to live 'the life'?

Define 'the life'.

Good job? Happy marriages? Never fight with your spouse? Completing PhD,masters? Perfect result? Big house?Expensive cars? Endless friends?

My dear bloggers, for each of us,there will be different meaning depend on what is the core of our life. Yes,Allah is the definite core in whatever we do in our life.Thus,why do we need this hardship in life?? Allah is always there right? He can fix anything right? So then why do we need to learn make decision,working hard to figure life and faces every hurdles??


“…sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib
sesuatu kaum itu sehingga mereka sendiri mengubah nasib mereka….”

-Surah Ar-Ra’ad, Ayat 11-

Now choose to be happy,be truly happy. Complete with Allah blessing and guidance.

p/s: Kisah Perubahan

Ketika saya masih muda
Saya mengembara untuk mengubah dunia

Semakin saya meningkat dewasa
Saya rasa hasrat ini terlalu tinggi
Jadi saya bercadang mengunah negeri pula

Semakin dewasa, ini juga saya dapati terlalu tinggi
Jadi saya bercadang untuk mengubah bandar saya

Apabila saya sedar, ini juga tidak dapat saya lakukan
Saya cuba mengubah keluarga saya

Kini saya sudah tua, saya sedar saya seharusnya
Bermula dengan mengubah diri saya sendiri

Jika saya telah bermula dengan diri saya sendiri
Mungkin saya akan berjaya mengubah
Keluarga saya, Bandar saya
Atau mungkin juga Negeri saya
dan siapa tahu, Mungkin Dunia ini juga

"Life is a Constant Change"
sumber:mesra.net forum

2 comments:

aisyah said...

salam
Hanum!!
always love to read ur entry
^__^

lama tak borak dgn hanum.. and seriously cant imagine what kind of things we gonna chat about..

anumz sarah said...

Salam aisyah,

=) hehe... saya pun rindu nak chat dgn awk. Sy harap sgt kita berjumpa dalam amsa terdekat ini dan dapat chat lama2. Tanya khabar,reminiscence about our good old days and maybe who knows... plans of our future... ;).

InsyaAllah..sy mendoakan pertemuan kita dipenuhi barakah yg secukupnya...

ameen....