Saturday, May 1, 2010

RAINING MAY-come away with me....

PHYSICALLY AFFECTED

Usually when my ladies of the house having fun at the mall with super fun extra activities,I prefer not to go with them.

It's not them why I refuse, it's me. I am easily tired,close to chronic fatigue even for the normal activities everyday.
my fav songwriter-singer;Norah Jones

It is a 'normal' situation for SLE people like me. So I choose to spend time resting all the time. For this hectic semester 6, I keep pushing myself close to exhaustion. Thanks to my super ego and obsession to do my best in everything,I end up packing my bag spending study days at home.

I choose to 'heal' at home, physically,mentally and emotionally. And thank you so much Mum and Dad for being the best supporter ever in the best and worst time of my life. I love both of you so much,and may Allah bless you all the time.

RAINING MAY

Plus it's hard for me to explain everytime why I can't do this or that. You get funny expression cause from other person's view I look fit on the surface. Maybe too fit due to steroids side effects.
You get tired try to explain that what ever decision you make it is based on your health while you perfectly look well to them.Only my family esspecially mum and dad knew exactly why I do what I have to do.

They are the ones with me when I'm healthy and when I am at the emergency department down due to SLE attacks. Reminding me of my health state,my medications and all the DON'T list.It's hard sometimes... to make people understand if they don;t want to understand.

So I choose not to explain. Keep it quiet and live my life well. It's raining May, and I already have my umbrella.=)

SLE,ME,LIFE,STUDY

My research have been well accepted by 2 co-supervisor at the chosen hospitals,PPUKM and PPUM. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah the most Merciful.

It's the data collection I'm feeling a bit worried about. 222 SLE patients for PPUM and 289 people for PPUKM. Imagine the amount of respondent and statistical test I need to do.
Well,make it or break it.That's the goal now.There's no turning back. I intended to finish what I started with again the best effort I can put.

This time, I keep the BALANCE with my watchful inner eye. This time, I want to score but I want to be SINCERELY HAPPY while scoring.And HEALTHY too. I'm praying hard and smart that all my papers pass with flying colours and research are done well to earn honours in my B.Pharm.

Face it, kejayaan tidak bermakna jika kita tidak tahu TUJUAN kejayaan itu apa.

p/s: Belajar untuk mencari REDHA Allah. Letakkan dunia itu di tapak tangan dan Akhirat genggam kuat-kuat dalam hati.=)

6 comments:

izzati said...

kakak hanum,
Allah sentiasa bersama hamba-hambaNya dalam senang atau susah.Dia Maha Mengetahui segala yang berlaku.kuatkan azam kuatkan semangat insyAllah lagi 3 paper kita jawab dengan tenang dan dipermudahkan Allah.good luck and all the best!

anumz sarah said...

Salam izzati,

Thank u so much for the morale booster. InsyaAllah I will berusaha and kuatkan semangat.

Thank u so much dear.

alyaa said...

dear anum,
i am strangers to u
but as saudara sesama umat Islam, saya harap awk tabah and akn kuatkan smgt untuk awk capai impian awk. Semoga Allah sentiasa lindungi awk. take a good care of yourself :)

anjut said...

salam anum. i'm happy to see a strong and brave characters in you.life is hard, even a cat doesn't know its destiny...take care and smile!

anumz sarah said...

Salam kak Alyaa,

Syukran for your advice and words of wisdom. It is true,we are strangers. And yet Allah works so mysteriously that even the farthest things seems so near. Subhanallah... thank you kak Alyaa for the your kindness and comfort words...

anumz sarah said...

Salam anjut,

Agak lama x berchat dgn kamu. Masing-masing busy. Kebetulan teringat Addy tu yg tgk blog anjut and x sangka Addy dh ada rumah dan tuan baru. Yup,it's true what you said. Nasib segala makhluk-Nya dah tertulis di lauh mahfuz,termasuklah kucing...

Thank you for the advice.