Today marked the end of my Pre registered pharmacist day. It's a blood,tears and gruesome time for me. Well, I have sweet, mature, humility and smiles time too. It's a bittersweet moment.
We celebrated mum's birthday a bit early this year. Since my nephew and grandmum will be staying with us,so we celebrate early because after this we are focusing on their arrivals and needs.
Bought a super awesome crepe cake from Humble Beginings. Me, super brilliant ordered by not reading the manual from their website well, it turn out ok. Hehe...
We have family dinner at Mohd Chan's chinese restaurant. I love the atmosphere and their fish. Love the duck dish. Good. But the dim sum still not par with what we had taste before. So, it's a good food. The best thing is they don't put that much MSG, cause I know, if they did, I would have swollen lips and jittery feeling.
KEEP SWIMMING & FANCY A TEA
The truth, it's not what I expected. I would like a simple end of my prp life, stuff like send my logbooks properly or at least pass cukup2. That's my target anyway. But thanks to my utmost performance of the year, yep I thick faced send my cukup2 markah as long lulus and hope I could get my posting somewhere that is peaceful and not that gruesome.
As sucks as politic games at work can be, it did teach me something. People can be deceiving, downright cruel but nice people still exist. And you need to learn to value them and keep ur smiles and hope things get better.
It is true, to satisfy people is hard, but to satisfy Allah is the easiest.
I need to tune my spiritual compass and hope to find answers as how I could be a better person plus employee and perform better in a more suitable career.
Ending this phase of my life is a beautiful experience. Finally, a time for myself. Which something I've been missing so much.
TO MY MOTHER, THANK YOU.
Mum, I know it pains you to see me in pain, thanks to SLE for making it hard to make choices let alone managing it. SLE has change me a lot, a chronic illness disease which let people quirks their eyes at you when you say you are tired. BECAUSE I AM TIRED ALTHOUGH I DID LOOK PUFFY THANKS TO STEROIDS, MORON! YEAH, I DON'T LOOK SICK.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? SEEING ME VOMIT AND PASS OUT ALL THE TIME? Oh...nice, now you look sick? PFFTTTT!!!!! HELL, it has always been ME & MY PARENTS managing the bad events, when SLE GONE WILD. Oh yeah, maybe you would love to stay with me when SLE flare and see how I VOMIT and suffering from head splitting headaches, popping every pills to let the pain, joints pain and any pain go away.
If you're not in my shoes, DON'T EVER TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE! You work in the hospital some more, GEEZ!
Yup mum, I know, they don't know. Thank you for your advice and support for these tough time. I am thankful that you are tough and trying your best. I truly am. This time, it's my fight now. It's not gonna be pretty and bad all the time. I just wanna be thankful that I did survived and work for Allah.
I know that I am far from perfection, and I am trying my best. I'll make sure that I be better than those people. I forgive and forget them. They are worthless to remember anyway.
InsyaAllah this time I'm wiser and better.